Improve your assertiveness

There are six main steps that can be taken to improve your assertiveness:

Know the facts of the situation and have the details to hand.

You automatically put yourself in a position of strength when you are in complete control of a situation rather than having half the story and having to ‘wing it’. Whilst many of us cope in this situation, our behaviour can turn to aggression as we try to compensate for our lack of knowledge.

Anticipate the other person’s likely behaviour and prepare your responses.

Envisioning a situation, mentally rehearsing the scenario and how you would deal with the other person is a strategy employed by the most successful negotiators.

Prepare and use open questions to open a discussion. Open questions tend to start with who, why, what, when, where and how and are designed to elicit a response that includes some information. Asserting your authority means using your questioning and listening skills effectively, not simply stating your point of view in a domineering manner.

Practice your responses to aggression. The offices of successful people often contain some kind of poster referring to positive attributes – it’s a way of reinforcing their self image of being a person in control, confident and emphasising a positive posture.

Have faith that your abilities and style will work for you.

Assertive behaviour is not the behavioural type that many of us display 24/7 as we are affected by the environment we operate in. The old adage is that ‘practice makes perfect’; in fact what practice does is to programme your brain to believe that the result achieved will be achieved again. In other words, if you practice something and start to develop the results then you can believe that you will get the same result next time through employing the same techniques.

Feel sympathy for bullies and those who take an extremely aggressive stance in any discussions or negotiations.

Bullies don’t need to be feared; they are little people inside and should be supported by professional counselling.

Summary


The aim of assertive behaviour is to communicate productively. By remaining calm, being honest, sticking to the facts of the situation, and listening carefully to other people, you will ensure a more fruitful relationship with peers, staff and clients.

There are many situations in which practice managers need to be assertive; one of the most common is when giving and receiving feedback.